More than it seems
by Albenkind
Summary: Jim and Spock met each other in childhood. Years later they meet again but don't get along so well, before they slowly become friends. WILL BE SLASH LATER ON  Kirk/Spock  !
1. Somewhere I belong

**1. Somewhere I belong (Prologue – Spock)**

**__**_When this began,  
>I had nothing to say, and I get lost in the nothingness inside of me.<br>I was confused._

_I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me.  
>I want to heal, <em>

_I want to feel,_

_what I thought was never real.  
>I want to let go of the pain I've felt so long.<br>Somewhere I belong._

_(Linkin Park – Somewhere I belong)_

He was afraid when his father said that he would be away for a few minutes and he had to stay here and wait for him to come back. He must not do anything to get in trouble. And Spock would do his best to do so. He could not tell why, but he had the talent to catapult himself right into the worst situations. No matter what he tried to be accepted by others, it would not work out. So he obeyed to his fathers will and stayed there, motionless until his father came back from his work. Because he was an abmassador from Vulcan, he had to visit earth frequently. But this time was different. Amanda – Spocks human mother – was ill. The climate on Vulcan wasn't good for her condition in the length of time so she was coming with him. And because Spock was not able to live alone for a week because he was only twelve years old, he had to come with them. And so he remained right where his father left him, while he was in his meeting.

Of course he remained there, what else would he do down here? His mother was in her bed at her parents house and Spock didn't know anyone. In fact, he didn't even knew earth at all. And moreover he was way too afraid to get into trouble. Up there on Vulcan, he had no friends because of his ancestry. His human blood was a reason for every vulcan child to insult and provoke him when they saw the least chance. He was too emotional, although he tried his hardest not to be. But he couldn't help it. It was frustrating. Spock had no idea how to deal with other people, human or not, so what else would he have to do but sitting on this bench and keep waiting?

But earth was not that exiting anyway. The climate was very different and Spock literally shivered because for him, it was cold, even if it was summertime right now.

Spock closed his eyes for a few moments, before the silence was distrubed by some yelling. He lifted his gaze and stared at the group of boys which were running out of a small side street. They were running in a small group, kicking a white and black ball back and forth. Some of them were wearing short trousers and sleeveless shirts, their hair wild and messy, whilst others were wearing long jeans and shirts. Spock figured they all were approximately at his age. But all of them were having – Spock was not aware of the feeling itself, but he had read about it – fun. He could tell it because of their laughter and their expressions in their faces. Humans were so easy to appraise. It was so undignified. Why would someone reveal emotions so obvious? The opponent would only take advantage of this sooner or later. It was much more logical to remain neutral, no matter in which situation you might be.

Spock shook his head and glanced in another direction, where something attracted his attention. With a little hesitation, he stood up and walked across the street, until he reached the house he saw from the bench. It was a small building with glassy walls. Inside the building there were many cages with animals Spock didn't know from touching, but from his books. Especially one of them was fascinating. It was called 'cat', he knew that. In nature it was much more fascinating than in his books and the programs in school. The young boy had to fight down the urge of going in and touching it. Instead, he wanted to turn around and go back to his bench where his father left him and told him to stay. But as he made one step back he realised the black and white ball rolling against his leg and someone bumped into his side. Spock turned around just before one of the boys he saw earlier – which was also the one who just bumped into him – fell to the ground. The brown-haired boy turned around and gave him an angry gaze. The human boy picked himself up and gestured with his hands. He looked annoyed.

„Hey! Can't you watch were you're goin'? Ya just hustled me to the ground!", the boy griped and put his hands into his hip.

„I am sorry, but I did not 'hustle' you to the ground.", Spock replied calmly.

„Ya sayin' I'm a liar? Look here, dumbass, you...", the boy turned silent as he realized, Spock was vulcan. „Oh. HEY GUYS LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE!", he shouted to the other ones which were coming closer now. „A little freaky vulcan.", the boy laughed and Spock gulped. He didn't know how to react to this. He felt uncomfortable and realised he was frustrated, because he had not listened to his father and left the bench. He didn't know what to say or what to do. His father had reminded him that humans are much weaker than vulcans. So if it escalated he couldn't even defend himself without the risk of hurting the boys seriously.

„Helloooo! I'm talkin' to ya!" the boy continued and pushed him with his hands, so Spock stumbled back. He couldn't held a frightened gaze back, as he saw the grin on his face. Spock didn't understood this. Was he doing anything wrong? „Don't you know that it's impolite not to answer someones questions?"

„What you said is illogical. You did not ask me something."

„...Not only a freakin' alien but also a know-it-all, yea? Let's see if you're still so smart after I gave you a little private lesson.", the boy said before his group was now close to them. Before anyone could say something or Spock could get a better look at the other boys, the brown-haired hauled off and punched Spock right in the face. Spock let out a little whimper of pain as he hit the ground with his shoulder which was still injured from a fight with some vulcan students the day before yesterday. His face ached and he felt blood in his mouth. Spock felt his heart beating fast as he tried to figure out what to do. On Vulcan he would fight back, but this situation was different. He promised his father not to get into trouble. And if he would break his promise, his father would be disappointed again. The human boy grabbed him and dragged him up, jostled him against the other boys, which were standing there in surprise.

„Hey Alex, what are you doing? Beating a vulcan boy up?", said one of them.

„He insulted and hustled me to the ground!", Alex replied. Spock was pushed back to him and had to take another hit into his face and his stomach what made him stumble against the wall. He looked up again, but said nothing. He didn't want to disappoint his father. Alex hauled off again, but was held back by one of the boys. „I think he's had enough, Alex.", he said. Spock looked at him suspiciously. The human boy had wild blond hair and pearcing blue eyes. Alex gritted his teeth and seemed to think about his words, then he jerked himself free of the blone ones grip, made an annoyed sound and backed off. „Come on guys, I think fun's over.", he said to the other ones which followed him without hesitation. Everyone except the blonde boy.

„You alright?", he asked with a little smile on his face. Spock couldn't stand the eye-contact and looked away.

„Yes, I am."

„You're bleeding."

„A normal reaction of a body which was being hit."

„Does it hurt?"

Spock squeezed his lips together slightly and crossed his hands behind his back. „Alex is a total twit, I'm sorry you had to meet him.", the boy said, laughed and put his hands into his trouser pockets. „I'm Jim by the way. Jim Kirk", Spock didn't replied. After some moments of silence, Jim harrumphed. „So... you're vulcan? What are you doing here all by yourself? I bet you're not much older than me?", Spock didn't understand why this Jim was so interested in him. They didn't know each other and had nothing in common. Why would he want to know something about his condition? „You know, I don't bite. You can answer me.", Jim seemed to start another attempt to start a conversation. He was still smiling.

„I am Spock.", he finally managed to say, which made Jim's smiling turn into a grin.

„Spock.", he echoed. „Well, that's one cool name."

Spock wanted to say something, but was interrupted by some cold drop on his face which made him freeze. The drops came more frequently every second and Jim sighted. „Oooh man! Summer rain. Why today?", he moaned and wanted to run under something where he was safe from the rain. Half the way he stopped and turned around. „Spock! Don't just stay there, come on!", Spock heard him shouting but didn't move. When Jim came back to pull him away, he glanced at him. „This is the first time I am seeing rain in my whole life.", Spock answered him and held up his arms so the rain could fall onto the interiour side of his hands. „Fascinating.", he said. Jim stared at him with something in his eyes that Spock could not interpret. Then he laughed and ran his fingers through his soaking wet hair so that it didn't fell into his eyes anymore. Spock couldn't make out why this boy was laughing, but he didn't dare to ask. This laughter was full of calmness and enjoyment which irritated Spock immensly.

„Come on, we'll get sick if we're staying in the rain.", Jim told him and both of them went down the street until they found a building with a overlaying roof where they could hide from the rain. Spock shivered slightly and continued to stare at the rain. He didn't even mind that Jim was staring at him like he was looking for something. „Spock!", the vulcan boy jerked when he recognised his fathers voice not far from him. He had an umbrella with him and came towards the two boys with an alarming determination. When his father stood in front of him, he glanced at Jim, then at Spock and recognised the green blood on his lip. Then he sighted.

„Even on your mother's home planet you can not be without getting into a brawl everytime I do not pay attention to you. Did I not told you to not get into trouble while I am away, son?"

„Yes, father. I apologise fot that.", Spock answered and caught himself being ashamed of this situation.

„Uhm... I'm sorry but it was not his fault.", Jim interrupted and Sarek turned to him.

„I think you and I do not know each other."

„I'm Jim. One of my buddys overreacted and... well... Anyway it wasn't his fault.", Jim shrugged his shoulders. Sarek waited a few secons like he was thinking about this answer. Then he turned to Spock again. „Come with me, Spock. We need to go home.", Spock nodded in silence and gave Jim another glance, before he turned and followed his father without any further words. Jim remained under the roof, staring at the two vulcans indecisive.

* * *

><p>So this will be my first Star Trek -Fanfiction :D!<p>

Sorry for the lame start w~! This is going to be a fic with 20 chapters at most I think.  
>I'll try to update this at least every 2 weeks :D!<p>

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters.


	2. Sound of Silence

**2. Sound of Silence (Prologue – Jim)**

_Hello darkness, my old friend.  
>I've come to talk with you again.<br>The vision that was planted in my brain still remains,  
>within the sound of silence.<br>In restless dreams I walked alone,  
>narrow streets of cobblestone.<em>

_(Atrocity – Sound of silence)_

It was nothing special about that day. Or at least he thought this day would be oddly normal, like every day. He was bored. And he was alone. James Tiberius Kirk was just about to turn thirteen and was already sick of his life. The boys he was hanging out with were... buddys. Collegues. Classmates. But they weren't friends. He didn't trust them. Strictly speaking he didn't trust anyone except himself. His Stepfather was not interested in him, so Jim (his cognomen) did what he wanted to and ran directly into problems frequently, even though his mother tried his hardest to stop him.

But he wasn't listening.

And this was good, because if he would listen to his parents, he wouldn't have met this little vulcan boy. He had house detention but escaped through his window to play football with the other boys from school when he met him. It was a vulcan boy, small and airy with black hair and deep, dark brown eyes. Alex hit him after they accidently bounced into each other so Jim stopped him from beating him up, because this kid didn't even seem to try to defend himself. Jim had some distinctive sense of justice and also a strong protective instinct so he couldn't help it. And it worked. Alex let go and left.

„You alright?", he asked with a little smile on his face. Spock looked away and Jim raised an eyebrow.

„Yes, I am."

„You're bleeding."

„A normal reaction of a body which was being hit."

„Does it hurt?"

Jim sighted and tried to find something in his face, which would show him an answer Spock wasn't willing to give. Okay, Jim wasn't so sure if he himself would answer... After all, they were total strangers. After some time of awkward silence, Jim started talking again. „Alex is a total twit, I'm sorry you had to meet him.", he laughed and put his hands into his trouser pockets. „I'm Jim by the way. Jim Kirk", but Spock didn't replie again. There was a moment of silence between them again, before Jim harrumphed quiet. „So... you're vulcan? What are you doing here all by yourself? I bet you're not much older than me?", he wanted to know and waited paitently for an answer that didn't came either. Man, were all vulcans so hard to get to know? „You know, I don't bite. You can answer me.", Jim said again, still smiling.

„I am Spock.", he finally said, which made Jim's smiling turn into a grin.

„Spock.", he echoed. „Well, that's one cool name."

It seemed that Spock wanted to say something, but was interrupted by some cold drop on his face which made him freeze. Jim could see it by the look of his face. The drops came more frequently every second and Jim sighted. „Oooh man! Summer rain. Why today?", he moaned and wanted to run under something where he was safe from the rain. Half the way he stopped and turned around. „Spock! Don't just stay there, come on!", he shouted, but Spock didn't move, so he ran back to pull him away. „This is the first time I am seeing rain in my whole life.", Spock answered him and held up his arms so the rain could fall onto the interiour side of his hands. „Fascinating.", he said. Jim stared at him in surprise. This boy called rain 'fascinating'? He really was... interesting. Jim couldn't tell what it was, but something was going on inside him that made him want to know this Spock better. Maybe it were his eyes. Maybe his curiosity which pressured him to get to know everything he didn't understand. Then he laughed and ran his fingers through his soaking wet hair so that it didn't fell into his eyes anymore. Jim saw Spocks face trembling. He couldn't make out what kind of trembling it was, but that didn't matter anyway.

„Come on, we'll get sick if we're staying in the rain.", Jim told him and both of them went down the street until they found a building with a overlaying roof where they could hide from the rain. Jim could see Spock shivering and continuing to stare at the rain. „Spock!", the vulcan boy jerked at the sound of the voice not far from them. He had an umbrella with him and came towards the two boys with an alarming determination.

„Even on your mother's home planet you can not be without getting into a brawl everytime I do not pay attention to you. Did I not told you to not get into trouble while I am away, son?"

„Yes, father. I apologise fot that.", Spock answered with a very quiet voice.

„Uhm... I'm sorry but it was not his fault.", Jim interrupted and the man who seemed to be Spock's father.

„I think you and I do not know each other."

„I'm Jim. One of my buddys overreacted and... well... Anyway it wasn't his fault.", Jim shrugged his shoulders. Sarek waited a few secons like he was thinking about this answer. Then he turned to Spock again. „Come with me, Spock. We need to go home.", Spock nodded in silence and gave Jim another glance, before he turned and followed his father without any further words. Jim remained under the roof, staring at the two vulcans indecisive. Something about him was strange but he couldn't tell. Jim wasn't dumb and listend to what his father said. This Spock was half human and if he was right about the 'problems' they spoke of, he seemed to have no friends at all, too. When he heard that, Jim suddenly felt a rush of relatedness to this boy. He wanted to know more about him.

Spocks eyes looked sad.

Jim sighted and glanced towards them until they were out of his sight. Then he turned and walked back home. He was soaking wet when he arrived and just wanted to go into his room, but was interrupted.

„James.", the sharp sound of his stepfather echoed in the corridor. Jim didn't respond.

„I think I told you to be home at 6pm."

„I forgot my clock."

He let out a disgusted sound. „Useless boy.", he murmured and Jim rolled his eyes, left without answering. He locked the door behind him and threw his bag on his bed, let himself fall next to it. Whenever his mother was off planet his stepfather was beyond all bearing. No wonder Johnny – his stepbrother – ran off two days ago.

Jim was hoping to meet this vulcan boy again the next day and came back to the place where they met. But Spock wasn't there. Neither was he the next day. It was a week later when he lingered through the streets again. Jim was bored as usual and tried to avoid his schoolmates and his father, so he didn't pay attention to where he went. He didn't pay attention until he realised it was Spock and his parents which were standing outside a house a few meters afar from where Jim was. He fastened his steps and nearly ran towards the small groups of persons.

„Hello, Spock.", he waved with his right hand and smiled at the little family. He presumed they were his vulcan father, his human mother and the parents of his mother. Jim smiled slightly. Spocks mother smiled in surprise and tousled Spocks gleaming black hair. „Oh my, love. You didn't tell me you made friends down here.", she said, audible pleased, which made Jim grin. Spock looked uneasy and pressed his lips together. Jim wondered what he was thinking. „He's not my friend.", he answered and turned, went into the car. Kirks face literally jumped the rails. He didn't understand why he said that. „Wha... Spock, wait!", he called him, but Spock shut the door and didn't even made the slightest attempt to react to him. It was Spocks father who recognised him. „You are the human boy from last week. I have to apologise, but we will fly back to Vulcan today.", he said. Jim nodded and wanted to say that he'd like to make friends with him, but... now he didn't know if this was a good idea. Spocks mother looked confused, but Jim didn't care. He had to admit that he was miffed by Spocks behaviour. After a few seconds he kicked a small stone away and left the house without any explanation.

Why did he say that? He preserved him from being beaten up and was nice to him. Why did he act so rude? Kirk frowned and sighted. He didn't exactly knew why, but he saw someone in Spock, which whom he finally could make good friends. It would have been great to finally have at least one he could call a real friend. But it seemed as if he was the only one who thought that. Now that he heard the sound of the car getting more quiet every second, he felt oddly lonely.

* * *

><p>And the prologue of Jim, sorry for that!<br>I hope you enjoyed it anyway :3!

Since I'm german and my beta-reader is also german, I'm not sure whether everything I upload is correct.  
>So if you find something, I'd be more than glad if you could tell me, so that I won't make the same mistake twice!<br>(It'd be perfect if someone would be willing to beta this, but oh well.)


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